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lol its a load of rubbish, all it is , is a resistor what tricks the ecu it to over fueling the engine, it can cause the ecu to fail, injector problems and kills the maf
because it over fuels there lots of unburnt fuel it canstuff the cat/lamda sensors worst ways it may blow the head gasket and or cause valve damage

if you want more power get the engine to suck and blow better(exhaust and air filter)then get a proper rolling road remap that should take the 1.6 upto 140bhp
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
I have in the past, tuned a few engines, and as a rough rule of thumb I reckon it's £30 - £45 per every safe 5hp gained as a rough measure. This was in the days of engineering and not electronics.

I know this was old school, but the same principles apply.


Like you say, gasses in then gasses out is always key.

This £20 piece of crap that I was looking at, is too good to be true, and agree it should be confined to the realms of fantasy and destruction.










Edited by: Boysie
 

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So you don't want one of my magnets that line up all the fuel molecules before they go through the injectors, and give another 70mpg and add 50bhp?

What about one of the little swirlers that go in the intake to make the air all twizzly, and add 40mpg?

(I have 4 fitted, and with the magnet as well I get nearly 250mpg
)


Just got to fit the electrolysis plant to produce browns gas to get another 50mpg and I'll be all set



(If there was a way to get another 500bhp and an extra 50mpg for £20, you can bet that the manufacturers would have already fitted it and increased the price of the car by £2000)
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
Sorry, I've got it all sorted now, and have raised my mpg to a realistic 183mpg, and the bhp has risen to 476hp.The main reason is employing 278 little people, who had nothing better to do, than hang around the fairy trees in the next field.
They sift and sort all the bad fuel molecules by hand, and recycle them by swallowing them, and farting down the air intake.
There was a slight problem with 'follow through', but this has been aleviated by giving the little fella's alternating toilet breaks. Although, there free time is reduced if they fart in the pan. I can't abide waste.

mnl, I think you're telling porkie pies, but I apologize just in case you're telling the truth.




On a serious note, I wonder if any fool has bought and fitted one.
 

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Boysie I'm just ordering one now as they sound better than fairy dust, magic sponges and just about anything. Might get a load to dish out as Christmas pressies too. Bet my family members have never had one as a gift before. Il'l see if I can get a discount for a bulk order of say 500 yeh.
 

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Discussion Starter · #8 ·
SneakyElephant said:
I produce 'brown gas' sometimes...usually after beans on toast

You should use white bread for the toast, Sneaky, that should help.


Don't dismiss the magic sponges too soon BOBBY B. Give them a chance.


Edited by: Boysie
 

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Anyway it's all a bit silly...if you wanted a fast car WHY DID YOU BUY A NOTE??? There are plenty of alternatives out there if you really want to drive into trees and walls.
 

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Discussion Starter · #10 ·
I'm content with my motor Sneaky. I just thought I should make the 'brickwall & tree' brigade aware, there is some real crap out there to hit those things faster.


I'd like to spend some money on decent stuff, so I could go out in style.


Edited by: Boysie
 

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To be serious, as Flash says, the £20 "chips" just make the ecu think the intake air is colder than it really is (=more dense= more oxygen) so the ecu adds extra fuel , and the engine runs a bit rich, and so therefore goes a bit better, at the expense of mpg. (Actually, the exhaust sensor should trim the fuel back again anyway when it detects the over fuelling)

The fuel line magnets don't work, nor the intake swirlers.
The browns gas thing is interesting (look it up) but it is being produced from the electrical system, which is rather inefficient, so it can only drop the mpg, not increase it, but it actually can give more power if you stored the gas for use as a boost. TBH, if you want more useable power and mpg, you would be better off turning off the air con, and making sure all the lights are off.
 

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Boysie said:
I'm content with my motor Sneaky. I just thought I should make the 'brickwall & tree' brigade aware, there is some real crap out there to hit those things faster.


I'd like to spend some money on decent stuff, so I could go out in style.
I didn't mean you personally Boysie, it's just this entire 'Max Power' mentality that some people have...I guess they just can't resist fiddling with their engines for the sake of it. From what I have witnessed over the years, most of these frustrated bumhole engineers actually end up REDUCING the output of their motors, so they fit a big bore pipe to make it sound faster...bloody pests.
 

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Discussion Starter · #13 ·
Yeah, I know exactly what you're saying mate.


Did you ever see Top Gear, where they tried to Max out a Renault Espace on their track. They spent fortunes on go faster bits, trick suspension, big brakes, wheels & tyres etc. etc.

But in reality all it needed was a service, for the best results.


There are some real lunatics here in Ireland......mostly1.4 Honda Civic brigade. When someone dies in a crash over here in my locality.......without flinching I would ask.........'Were they driving a Civic'. Unfortunately, I'm nearly always right, and far too often.

Induction kit, and the obligatory big bore, suspension dropped to the tarmac..........then it's hello to the walls and trees, and worse still, the water filled ditches.(many have drowned in those).

Gawd.....this has got so morbid.

Edited by: Boysie
 

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Discussion Starter · #15 ·
I would recommend removing the original engine first, together with all interior fittings.


1). Move drivers seat to the boot/luggage space.
2). Cut a large hole in the floor, and central tunnel.
3). Lash the engine and box to what's left.(Manual gearbox)
4). Install endless supply of clean underwear.(Paper type or disposable nappies).
5). And finally, write a will.

I hope you have endless years of driving your V8 Nivvy Note.
 

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Thanks sounds good, though was hoping of going down the route of the Renault espace esq engine where rear seats were and Gangdam style!!!!!!!!!
 

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your get a v6 from a altima or jap import without toomuch shoe horning in the note lol
the 1.6 is good for 140 Bhp with minor tuning, tbh honest if i wanted a sports car i would have 370z or skyline
 

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The only way a Note will do 150mph is if you drive it off a cliff...I'm still looking for a cheap Colt Ralliart as it seems to be the most poke for the money.
 

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Discussion Starter · #19 ·
SneakyElephant said:
The only way a Note will do 150mph is if you drive it off a cliff...I'm still looking for a cheap Colt Ralliart as it seems to be the most poke for the money.

You haven't been to Soho lately. More pokes per £ there.
 
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