A boy is walking down the road one day when a car pulls alongside.
"If you get in," the driver says, "I’ll give you £10."
The boy refuses and keeps walking.
A bit further along, the man again pulls over. "Okay," he says. "How about £20 and a packet of sweets?"
The boy tells the man to piss off and carries on walking. Still further up the road, the man again pulls to the curb.
"Right," he says. "This is my final offer; I’ll give you £50 and all the sweets you can eat."
The little boy stops walking, goes towards the car, and leans in.
"Look, Dad" he hisses, "You bought the bloody Skoda, so you’ll have to live with it.
Eleven people were hanging on a rope under a helicopter,
ten men and one woman. The rope was not strong enough to carry them all, so they decided that one had to leave, because otherwise they were all going to fall. They weren’t able to choose that person, until the woman gave a very touching speech. She said that she would voluntarily let go of the rope,
because, as a woman, she was used to giving up everything for her husband
and kids or for men in general, and was used to always making sacrifices
with little in return.
As soon as she finished her speech all the men started clapping...
A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night to meet, and have a dinner with her parents.
Since this is such a big event, the girl announces to her boyfriend that after dinner, she would like to go out and make love for the first time.
The boy is ecstatic, but he has never had sex before, so he takes a trip to the pharmacist to get some condoms. He tells the pharmacist it's his first time and the pharmacist helps the boy for about an hour. He tells the boy everything there is to know about condoms and sex.
At the register, the pharmacist asks the boy how many condoms he'd like to buy, a 3-pack, 10-pack, or family pack.
The boy insists on the family pack because he thinks he will be rather busy, it being his first time and all.
That night, the boy shows up at the girl's parents house and meets his girlfriend at the door.
"Oh, I'm so excited for you to meet my parents, come on in!"
The boy goes inside and is taken to the dinner table where the girl's parents are seated.
The boy quickly offers to say grace and bows his head. A minute passes, and the boy is still deep in prayer, with his head down.
10 minutes pass, and still no movement from the boy.
Finally, after 20 minutes with his head down, the girlfriend leans over and whispers to the boyfriend, 'I had no idea you were this religious.'
The boy turns, and whispers back,
'I had no idea your father was a pharmacist !!!!!!>