A gorgeous young redhead goes into the
doctor's surgery and said that her body hurt wherever she touched it.
"Impossible!" says the doctor. "Show me."
The redhead took her finger, pushed on her
left breast and screamed, then she pushed her elbow
and screamed even more. She pushed her knee and
screamed; likewise she pushed her ankle and screamed.
Everywhere she touched made her scream.
The doctor said, "You're not really a redhead, are you?
"Well, no" she said, "I'm actually a blonde."
"I thought so," the doctor said. "Your finger is broken."
At the boating lake: Attendant 1 through the loudhailer says "Come in number 99, your time is up". Attendant 2 looks puzzled and says "We don't have a number 99". Attendant 1 picks up the loudhailer again and shouts"Number 66 are you in trouble?".....
A man and his
wife were spending the day at the zoo.
She was wearing a loose fitting, pink
dress, sleeveless with straps..
He was wearing his usual jeans and
As they walked through the ape exhibit,
They passed in front of a
large, silverback gorilla.
Noticing the wife, the gorilla went crazy.
jumped on the bars, and holding on with one hand and two feet he grunted
pounded his chest with his free hand.
He was obviously excited at the pretty
lady in the pink dress.
The husband, noticing the excitement, thought this
He suggested that his wife tease the poor fellow some more by
lips and wiggling her bottom. She played along and the gorilla
got even more
excited, making noises that would wake the dead. Then the
that she let one of her straps fall to show a little more
She did.... and the gorilla was about to tear the bars
"Now..... show your thighs and sort of fan your dress at him," he said.
drove the gorilla absolutely crazy and he started doing flips.
the husband grabbed his wife, ripped open the door to the cage, flung
with the gorilla and slammed the cage door shut.
"Now. Tell HIM you have a
I went to the doctor yesterday. I said 'Doctor, when I wake up in the morning I feel like a wigwam...but when I go to bed I feel like a teepee.'
The doctor said 'That's your problem Mr. Elephant...you're TOO TENSE.'